Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Time to Let Go

Being the only daughter of the family, no brothers, no sisters, is it a karma? Sigh! Often times I feel very lonely and isolated. I feel like I have to bear all the responsibilities. I'm quite reserved in person so I don't have many closed friends. It would be great if I have a sister or brother who can listen to my story or talk to me everyday. I feel very sad when I text my closed friends and they don't reply me. I know they're busy, but even a short one will do also. Mom always tells me that no one loves you truly more than your family members. I think it's quite true now. The problem is I sometimes can't open up with my parents that much as with my closed friends. When they're down or need help, they text me, and I text back to console or help them. When I'm down, text them, email them...most of the times, nothing. I know they're busy with work and life. I'm trying to understand them. They clearly know that I tend to over think especially, when it comes to people or things I love, but they still do it. They have time to comment and send regards to other people or talk on the phone with other people, and nothing for me when we're closed friends. Sometimes I feel like they want to cut off our friendship since I don't belong to their category now. They're busy talking on the phone when we hung out or went shopping... Maybe it's the time I have to take my thick-skinned mask off. I should stop holding onto them. I should stop annoy them. I'll live as it is. I'll just go with the flow from now on. "Don't make someone your priority if they only make you an option." I must remember this!

Hmmm... I've been trying to restrain myself from writing emotional things like this on blog, but now I did it again. I really wish I had someone to talk to or share things with. I feel like the whole world is avoiding me right now. I know I will feel regret later for letting the emotion controls over me and jotting down something like this online. Whatever...I hope things will be better tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

Dun give up own..maybe its not like wat you think...sometimes, people are too bz thats why they forgot about u, but it doesnt mean ur not one of them...just try to keep in touch with them and try to hang out with them as often as u can..sue sue..

Gizelle said...

Thank you, bong. :)