Thursday, January 27, 2011

I Was versus I Am

It's already 11:35 PM and I'm still awake. It's not that I have insomnia or anything, it's just that I don't want to go to sleep now. Why? I feel like it's a waste? Haha, not exactly, but I just want to be productive, I just want to do something useful at least once per day. And no, I'm not going to study for my Chinese anyway because my class is on Monday. There are still 4 days more. Hehe

Well, after sitting hours in front of my laptop thinking of what to write, I came up with this idea. Reflection! It's about me in the past and me in the present. Precisely, me before college and me after college. Should we start off with something nice first?  

- I was thoughtless/naive ------------------ I am thoughtful (too thoughtful sometimes I think. I tend to over think most of the time now. This is so not good.)
- I was a study-hard student -------- I am a study-smart student now (too smart sometimes until I almost die after each final or test because I only cram/study the night before the actual exam/test date.)
- I was fairer/whiter ---------------- I am pretty dark these days. However, I'm still the fairest/whitest among my best friends. Haha
- I didn't know how to shop or buy anything --------------- I am a professional shopper now. And this will lead to the next point. I don't think this is something I should be proud of anyway.
- I was a very good saver ---------- I am so good at spending nowadays. See, I told you this is a disaster!
- I was more considerate towards people's feeling --------- I am less considerate towards it now. I don't really like to go around the bush anymore. I tend to say what I feel even though I know I'd regret it afterward, but I'd rather say it out and explain it or say my apology later. I have too much going on inside me already so if it's not that necessary to hold it back, I'll say it out straightaway. Please understand that if someday I do that to you! If you can't stand me, you're welcome to do the same. And if I can't stand your response, I can just walk away to avoid 'an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind'. As simple as that! Hehe
- I Me Myself Mine My was my priority ------------------ My parents are my priority.
- My standard about something/someone was pretty low ------------ My standard about that something/someone is very high now until I think I will be single for the rest of life. Haha
- In term of study, I was more confident ------------------ In term of study, I am less confident now because I tend to practice my study-smart method too much.
- In term of social life, I was less confident ---------------- In term of social life, I am more confident, but I still rate it low compared to other people.
- I loved my major -------------------- I hate my major. After spending 3 years something with it, I can say that I hate it now.
- I didn't like to wear high heels ------- I love to wear high heels because younger generation seems to outgrow me. Urgh, I hate that.  
- I was better in Khmer than in English ------------------- I am so horrible in my own mother-tongue language now. Well, my English is starting to sink as well. Oh God! I really need to talk/speak more.
- I did exercise almost everyday ------------------------- I don't even remember when was the last time I exercised. Last year? Oh my goodness!
- I never felt guilty spending other people's money ------- I feel super guilty whenever I use other people's money. I appreciate my own effort more.
- I used my cellphone more ----------- When was the last time I made a call? When was the last time I received/sent a message? I can use $20 phone credit for more than 3 months already. Gosh! I'm so isolated these days!  
- I had a very good memory ---------- My memory is downgrading. I sometimes even think that I have a short-term memory loss.
- I read more ------------------------- I internet more (yeah, I just verbed it.) I really want to change this back. Whenever I want to buy books these days, I always think that I can read or search for it on the internet and I usually end up with nothing. Google has become my third God. Oh man, I really need a way to change this back. Please help!
- I had enough sleep ------------------ I never have enough sleep no matter how long I sleep.

If I go to sleep now maybe I can change the last point sometimes soon. Think so? NO? I'm expecting for that answer, too.  
Now that I finish writing about it, I have a feeling that I've written something similar to this post in the past. See, my memory is in critical condition now! I should really stop to over think about things.

Okay, I think I shall hit my sack now. Good night!


Kelly said...

Good that you can note down the difference you have grown up to. I even can't even do this since there would be more negativities than the preferable ones. I need to be more mature like I ME MY Mine is my priority, and that's the selfish me! Hate it. Anyway, have a great time here reading your posts. Been stuck with school, you know. Cheers!

Gizelle said...

haha...i miss I ME MY MINE's choice is pretty unhealthy u know! :D
and good luck with school. ;)